I overheard a few kids – actually they’ll be offended if I call them kids, so young adults – talking.
They needn’t be worried about me eavesdropping on any part of their conversation. It sounded more like some garble in a foreign language, maybe even an alien version.
I wonder how they even understand each other?
And if they don’t understand each other, then what forms the foundation of their relationship?
I believe communication is always about being able to express your ideas to others in a way that they understand what you’re conveying.
If the conversation is a form of vocal Morse code, then they get only the dots and dashes of the idea, not the essence.
Rt, k?
Irony of the present times. Connecting is at our fingertips yet communicating is our weakest skill.
What Is the True Essence of Communication?
Maybe it’s the overuse of social media and chats that has diminished the value of having a genuine communication.
You’re part of a dozen chat groups at least. And must be responding to chats in half of them simultaneously.
So the fatigue of responding encourages the use of Ks and Ys. Human emotions get replaced by impersonal emoticons and gifs.
When was the last time you actually had a conversation with someone? The deep, meaningful ones?
Communication goes beyond merely exchanging words.
– It’s a means of making a connection.
– It helps you to interpret the ideas thoughts and words of others.
– It gives you a chance to understand and appreciate a different perspective.
– It provides you a chance to explore and discover shared meaning.
Communication isn’t about just exchanging a few pleasantries or words at a social do or workplace.
It’s about what you say, how you say them, and how you listen when someone’s telling you something.
It acts as bridge between two minds, allowing for easy transfer of thoughts.
It also acts as a mirror, reflecting your own thinking, your apprehensions and approvals, your proposals and prejudices.
Is Communication an Inborn Talent or a Teachable Skill?
Of course some are blessed with the ability to talk dime to a dozen. They can wear you out with their non-stop prattle.
While the other half struggle to get past the monosyllables.
But that’s not communication. It’s not the quantum of words that get regurgitated that matters. What matters is how effectively are they able to convey what they think.
Some are blessed with the natural ability to be able to express themselves. Use the right words, right tone, right context.
But it doesn’t mean the others are doomed to struggle.
I mean not everyone can speak like Obama or Tharoor. But what most don’t realise is it comes with practice. Lots and lots of practice.
Communication is an evolving skill. It’s shaped by your environment and your observations.
It needs a clarity of thought which comes from your knowledge and your understanding of the situation.
Don’t dismiss it when I say that children are natural communicators. Even before they learn their language, they’re able to convey their thoughts through cues or behaviour.
So clearly it’s not just words that are important for effective communication.
Elements of Effective Communication
Mastering the language is one part of becoming a good communicator. Some of the other elements are –
- Listening with focus
- Speaking with clarity
- Maintaining emotional awareness
- Timing and context
- Using non-verbal cues
- Curiosity instead of assumptions
- Pausing before reacting
I’m sure there are more. But these are good to begin with.
Are Communication Skills Declining Today?
Without doubt. There’s no arguing this point.
In my communication classes, I’ve to constantly assist my students to maintain the flow of sentences.
Words like ‘like’ or ‘umm’ or ‘so’ keep popping up rapidly, diluting the sentence.
Less thinking and writing, and more typing has replaced conversations.
No more time spent on reading and researching. ChatGPT or CoPilot or any of those other AI assistants are the go-to.
Social media ensures there’s plenty of short form reactions without the long term reflections. It’s like running headlong into the fire without a thought.
Maybe that’s the reason why there’s so much negativity and animosity and anger on these platforms.
It stems from all the misunderstandings due to miscommunication.
They’re not communicating; they are reacting.
One of my students pointed out that maybe I was resisting the changes as communication is reshaping itself to the present social conditions.
Maybe.
But unless there’s depth and a real connection, there’s no communication.
Conclusion: Communication as the Foundation of Better Human Connections
Communication is not about providing empty sound bites (let us leave that skill to our leaders and politicians).
Nor is it about playing fastest fingers on social media.
It’s a skill that has to be developed with intention.
Try to do more – listen more with focus, ask more but gently, speak more with clarity, and think more with intention.
Treat communication as a commitment to understanding and being understood.
