“I forgot.”
“It’s too hard.”
“I’ll do it later.”
Sounds familiar? Excuses come easily to children (and let’s be honest, to adults too).
They become the small, convenient shields that protect from discomfort, responsibility or even failure.
But if left unchecked, excuses can become dangerous habits which shape your character.
Breaking the excuse cycle is about helping children recognise why they resort to making excuses, and learn healthier ways to respond without shaming them.
It needs consistent practice to build that confidence and accountability. After all, Rome wasn’t built in a day!
So, if you want to move past the excuses to help the children, you’ve to understand what lies beneath them.
Why Do Kids Make Excuses?
Take a moment to think when was the last time you caught yourself making an excuse. How did it feel to admit the real reason behind it?
Have you ever wondered why kids resort to excuses? Is it plain laziness or is there something more to it?
More often than not, those excuses have deeper roots.
- Fear of Failure – The biggest fear children often have is the fear getting something wrong more than not trying. Something as innocuous as “You could’ve done better” can deepen the child’s fear of failure. An excuse then becomes their shield for “not being good enough.”
- Avoidance of Discomfort – Whether it’s homework or chores, if the task feels boring or difficult, it triggers avoidance. Excuses soften (or justify) the guilt of opting out.
- Seeking Approval – Sometimes it’s their fear of looking incapable or incompetent that gets them to make excuses. Anytime “I didn’t have time” sounds better than “I didn’t understand.”
- Habit – Most often it’s a force of habit. The more you tolerate excuses, the easier they become. Over time, they become the automatic reflex instead of an intentional choice.
Recognising and Overcoming Excuses
Before labelling them lazy or liar, the first thing to do is to create awareness. Yes, show them that excuses are just a temporary escape, not the solution, to the problem they’re trying to avoid.
- Label the Excuse – When the child makes an excuse, gently point it out to them. For example: “You’re saying you didn’t have time. Let’s look at what you did with your time today.” It’s not confrontational; it’s helping them assess.
- Dig Deeper – Ask leading questions to encourage kids to ask: Am I avoiding this because it’s hard, or because I don’t know how to start?
- Shift the Language – Practice replacing “I can’t” with “I don’t know how yet” or “I’ll try.” Language rewires mindset.
Read this powerful sentence somewhere: Excuses lose power when they’re named, examined, and reframed.
Once children begin identifying their excuses, the next step is taking small easy action.
Small, Manageable Steps to Break the Excuse Habit
Try these small, sustainable steps to see the changes you seek.
- Break Big Tasks into Smaller Ones – “Clean your room” can feel overwhelming. “Pick up your toys first” is doable and clear. Small wins build confidence and momentum.
- Set Clear Expectations – Vague instructions lead to excuses. Instead of “Do your homework,” say “Finish your math worksheet before dinner.”
- Celebrate Progress, Not Perfection – Applaud the effort, not just the outcome. When you praise their persistence, it helps kids value progress over avoidance.
It teaches children that when something feels difficult, even small steps forward are progress.
Try the 3A method – Acknowledge, Assess, Act – a simply brilliant strategy practiced by one of my co-teachers for dealing with excuses.
- Acknowledge the excuse (“I forgot”)
- Assess the reason (Fear? Confusion? Boredom?)
- Act by setting a small goal.
This becomes your repeatable process which you can easily recall and apply every time.
The Bigger Picture: Beyond Excuses
When children begin recognising excuses and know how to overcome them, they become more responsible. They learn to build resilience.
It nurtures their self-confidence, and also their ability to solve problems instead of looking for a way out.
These personal developments help them to form stronger relationships as their sense of accountability strengthens.
To build this mindset, encourage them to set one ‘no-excuse goal’ each week. Something small but meaningful and achievable.
Closing Thought
Excuses are their way of wriggling out of a tight spot. Why take up a challenge if they can get out of it? No responsibility, no accountability.
But they need to understand that the harder the path, the better opportunities for growth.
When the children learn to face tasks head-on, they stop fearing it or looking for excuses to avoid it.
They build resilience, develop pride in their work, and curiosity. In short, they unconsciously choose growth.
So, the next time you hear “I’ll do it later”, pause and ask your child (and maybe yourself) this: Am I choosing an excuse, or am I choosing growth?
