What kind of childhood are the kids these days enjoying? Most don’t even own a piggy bank!
Whatever they ask, they get. No saving, no control, no planning. Just spending.
Rewind a few years (or maybe decades) and money lessons began early with coins. Those square 5 paise coins, the flowy edged 20 p coins, the small 25 p coins. They’ve all become redundant now but there are so many memories around them.
Practicing addition and subtraction with those coins was the highlight of our childhood. That’s how we learnt about accounting, and saving and budgeting.
Some important life lessons learnt this way.
Those coins are gone but the importance of money remains the same. Time for children to understand that money doesn’t grow on trees. Nor does it appear with a scan or tap.
Before they mismanage their money, they’ve to understand its relation with desire.
The Real Question Isn’t “Can You Afford It?”
Spending is more of an emotional reaction than something thought-over. At least most of the time.
If the parent decides to buy that cute pencil case she sighted when in the shop, its emotional purchase, something spontaneous. You agree, right?
So why buy it? Because the other kids have something similar? Or that you felt your child was losing out? Or the advertisement promised unbelievable academic results? Or just because??
You’ve got to agree that spending is rarely logical. It’s not about affordability or need. It’s about not controlling your impulses.
And if you skip that conversation with children, you miss teaching them how to count money and understand it’s true value.
Emotional Intelligence Builds Financial Intelligence
Emotional intelligence is not restricted to just compassion, kindness, or empathy, but extends to patience and prudence and critical thinking – skills needed for financial intelligence.
When you tell a child, “Don’t waste money,” you’re teaching them restraint.
When you tell a child, “What do you think that will change?” you’re teaching them awareness.
That toy promises excitement. That new shoe promises belonging. That latest gadget promises status.
Each of them promises emotional satisfaction. So what you’re really buying is a feeling.
When a child is taught to pause and ask if they want this, they’re learning something powerful. They’re learning to dissociate the object from emotion and think logically.
This kind of objectivity and ability to dissociate from emotions is slowly teaching the child about delayed gratification. They’re learning about patience and how to protect their future choices.
A child who’s comfortable not buying something, or rather giving in to buying something, learns to be confident of his choices, and his own judgement.
Also children have their own understanding of money. Like money means freedom or power, security or approval.
These interpretations shape their decisions in the future. The person who believes money equal validation will spend differently from the person who believes money equal safety.
That’s how financial prudence becomes emotional regulation.
The Parent’s Role: Interpreter, Not Controller
As a parent your role isn’t to police their every purchase or shut down their desires. Instead it’s to guide their interpretation.
Ask them a few uncomfortable questions:
“Why’s this important to you?”
“Will this still matter tomorrow?”
“Is this about the thing, or how you want to feel?”
This will give them the necessary pause they need to evaluate their decision. More importantly, it’ll prevent impulse buys.
They’ve to learn to see saving as a choice and not a restriction. When that happens, it builds ownership of the decisions; not something they’re being forced to comply with but something they want to do themselves.
Where judgement Becomes Habit
Easier said than done. It needs a system which feels natural and not forced.
Build a saving habit. Every time they get some money, half of it goes into the piggy bank or wallet.
Teach them to account for the money saved and spent. They’ll see for themselves how each little deposit increases their savings; how each purchase eats into their savings. Will give them something concrete to see and think.
You can add an interest amount to the savings, as an incentive to save.
Once they reached high school, we asked our kids to save for any gadgets they wanted. Laptop, sure. Headsets, definitely. Save half the amount and then we’ll talk.
One, this cut down the ‘wants’ list.
Two, it gave them an objective. They were saving for what they needed, and wanted.
And finally, it delayed the impulse buy. Waiting while saving, it gave them a chance to review their decision, look out for better deals, compare prices, prioritise expenses, plan and budget.
The best way to learn is to do it. And this method worked for us. The objective wasn’t to raise children who could budget or to deprive them of luxuries.
It was to raise adults who understood their relationship with money.
Closing Reflection
Money may run the world. But understanding money gives you more control over it. After all, the numbers teach you calculations; your emotional intelligence teaches you judgement.
A child who can learn this skill and get comfortable managing money, grows up with a skill which even most adults are not good at.
Build this habit at the earliest to ensure it becomes a part of who they are. That’s because money isn’t protected by income, but by judgement.
