Trust has to be earned; it can’t be given or bought.
I don’t think anyone will disagree with that.
Trust is when your child sleeping peacefully, oblivious to the world, in your arms.
Trust is when you’re the first person your child runs to when there’s a problem or they’re hurt or scared.
Trust is the warm embrace that tells you’re there for them, come what may.
It’s a feeling, a safety net.
Without trust no relationship, be it personal or professional, can ever hope to survive.
Trust is the first feeling a child experiences. Like them, it needs consistent care and nourishment to grow, to become strong to face life. Hence it’s vital that it be cared for.
If they lose that trust, or it gets diluted or shattered, then they will grow up with this big vacuum in their personality where they find it difficult to trust anyone.
Why You Need To Build A Relationship Based On Trust With Your Child
- Eases the communication between you.
You know you’ve their trust when they can effortlessly confide in you about anything.
They feel an ease in sharing their thoughts and ideas, their fears and dreams, their doubts and hopes.
They tell you all without a moment’s hesitation.
2. Their confidence gets a boost when they know you ‘ve got their back.
Be it trying to ride the bicycle for the first time or preparing for their first interview.
They will trust their abilities and judgement more when they know that you’ve trust in them too.
3. Challenges no longer overwhelm or intimidate them because they know you’re there with them.
They count on you to guide them, show them how to right the wrongs, help them find the correct solution.
This makes them resilient and mentally strong.
4. Develop a positive mindset.
They learn to manage their emotions better. Free from judgement, they look to you for guidance, trusting your advice completely.
This contributes to better relationships at home and outside.
5. The relationship formed on trust forms a strong foundation which can stand the test of time.
Doesn’t matter what they experience in life, they know that you’re there for them.
These strong bonds help form everlasting relationships.
6. Children develop a wholesome personality.
They don’t feel the need to hide their mistakes, or tell lies or blame others.
It reduces their behavioural issues as they’ve someone they trust who would’ve taught them to distinguish between right and wrong.
They’re better equipped to establish meaningful, respectful and healthy relationships even as adults.
The Cardinal Rules To Building Trust
To make the best of the trust in your relationship, remember the following does and don’ts.
Do’s
- Be patient. Trust grows at its own pace. Take into consideration the age related upheavals, whether the terrible twos or the teenage tantrums.
- Celebrate and appreciate the small wins that will eventually lead the way for more.
- Allow your child some privacy and respect it. Trust them and let them learn to handle autonomy.
- Talk to them without judgment or condescension. Open communication can resolve many sticky situations.
- In situations where the trust is broken, acknowledge your mistake openly. Say sorry. Its shows them that you value the relationship enough to want to mend it.
Don’ts
- Your child’s feelings are equally important. Don’t dismiss them as trifling or inconsequential.
- Avoid making promises you can’t keep. You want to build trust, not corrode it.
- Don’t stifle them with constant monitoring or controlling. It will gravely impact the trust between you.
Trust is fragile. It takes a moment to lose it but takes years and years to build.
One small misstep and it can collapse like the house of straws.
Be careful as you tread the path of building a relationship with your child based on mutual trust.
Be there for them, trust them, believe in them, and give them the space to grow. You will not regret it.