“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’” – Mary Anne Radmacher
We’ve all admired those big, bold acts of courage when the hero beats up a dozen goons double his size on screen.
Or a lone person fighting injustice. The firefighter rushing into a blazing building. The protestors on the streets.
It’s impossible not to get impressed by their courage, and wishing you had that kind of nerve to do something spectacular.
Take a step back and think. Are you not glamourising the dramatic acts of bravery?
Real strength is built quietly with actions that reflect your daily choices.
What about the courage it takes to face a tough Monday morning or admit you’re hurting to someone you love?
Forget the capes and battles. Raw courage requires you to be vulnerable and honest in real life.
It’s easy to ignore the true courage that’s part of your daily life, guiding your actions.
Why We Miss Everyday Courage
“Courage isn’t having the strength to go on; it is going on when you don’t have strength.” – Napoleon Bonaparte
The reason why real courage gets relegated to the shadows is because it’s not glamorous.
You taking a strong personal decision is no match on the glam-scale to the heroics of the soldier on the battlefield; your’s an unseen battle.
Your decisions, however tough, are invisible but powerful. They impact your life. They can never match the sloganeering or chanting of the activists on the streets.
The social construct of courage is often in the context of conflicts, focusing on extremes. Media and cultural narratives have also encouraged that thought process.
Outcome? A narrow, constricted image of courage that feels out of your reach. How can a regular Joe achieve such levels?
The everyday acts of courage get brushed aside. They lack this spectacle needed to make a grand impact. They don’t create a public stir or draw attention of the larger public.
That they demanded just as much strength is ignored. You stop valuing them yourself.
Your everyday courage is as vital and essential, and more demanding, like the glamorised courage that’s visible to all.
What Does Every day Courage Look Like?
“Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.” – Brene Brown
It’s not dressed up in million-dollar customised, indestructible suit. The everyday courage looks like you and me.
It takes courage to be vulnerable. It takes courage to speak up. It takes courage to stay kind when it’s easier to shut down.
What you basically need are 3 types of courage.
- Emotional vulnerability
- To be able to apologise sincerely.
- To be able to express your emotions without fear of judgement.
- Let your guard down and let people in, even when trust is hard.
- To ask for help, to show you can’t do it all by yourself.
- To ask for emotional support. Social conditioning prevents you from speaking about your emotional state, and worse, seeking support.
- Moral courage
- To speak up, be able to give honest feedback. While honesty is valued, it’s often presented wrapped in confounding layers that it’s difficult to access it.
- To stand up for someone. Maybe the other person doesn’t have enough courage in his or her personal reserves.
- To speak out about an unfairness you witness or being able to call out something can definitely be uncomfortable but it needs done, and you did it. That’s courage.
- Resilience
- To keep going. Even on the darkest of days, when you don’t feel like getting out of bed, when you feel the weight of failure, when you feel defeated.
- No one’s watching you but you get up, dust of the disappointment and restart. That needs dollops of superhuman strength.
Try: Create a ‘Done’ list instead of a to-do list. Write down 3 things you managed despite the day being hard.
Why These Small Acts Matter
“Courage is the first of human qualities because it is the quality which guarantees the others.” – Aristotle
These actions may look small, insignificant. Yet these small acts speak volumes about you. They show your true value, what you are truly about.
It brings to fore your personal characteristics that set you apart from the crowd.
These gestures or acts of everyday courage are like the fires that help forge a stronger you.
They build –
- Your emotional resilience and integrity
- Create authentic relationships and personal growth
- Cultivate inner strength that lasts longer then momentary applause
- Model strength for children and others around us
How to Build Everyday Courage in Yourself and Others
“You will never do anything in this world without courage. It is the greatest quality of the mind next to honour.” – TS Elliot
Why are you waiting for others to acknowledge what you’ve done and recognise your courage? Do it yourself.
- Begin by acknowledging your small acts of courage in your daily life. It can be a small act, like getting yourself out of bed even though you’re feeling miserable after facing a setback or break up.
- Reframe your fear. Change your perspective. Don’t look at fear as an obstacle but as something meaningful, something to be dealt with.
- Be honest. Practice speaking honestly but mindfully. Learn to deliver the harsh truths gently and clearly.
- Become a role model for others. Parents and teachers, show the children how it’s done so they learn it well. Prepare your teenagers to deal with the world.
- Celebrate your wins. The quiet victories need to be remembered. Practice journaling. Share and reflect with others. It allows you to mull over the difficult decisions you took.
Think about what you did today that took more strength than it got credit for.
Everyday Courage for Children and Teens
“He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life.” Muhammad Ali
It’s a mindset that needs to be developed in children and teens early on so they grow up as well-balanced, resilient adults.
You don’t want them losing their personal freedom by being timid or subservient, not having the courage to choose or try something they want to.
- Begin by encouraging them to own up their mistakes. Teach them that it’s fine to make mistakes, that it’s part of the learning experience.
Why? Because it builds confidence in them and reduces their fear of punishment or retribution.
- Encourage them to share their feelings without shame.
We each of us experience different emotions. There’s no need to be embarrassed or ashamed about how they feel.
Why? Because this builds the courage in them to be open and expressive, speaking their mind fearlessly.
- Support their effort to learn something new. It’ll help them overcome the fear of failure.
Learning to play a guitar or preparing for their first presentation. Help them. Support them. Those few missteps when they’re learning is the beauty of exploring something untried before.
Why? Because it will give them the courage to attempt trying something without feeling scared of failing or not doing it correct.
- Create an environment where they don’t fear being vulnerable.
Let them learn that being vulnerable is a sign of courage, not weakness.
Conclusion
“Real courage is doing the right thing when no one is watching.”
Your everyday courage is a superpower within your reach, waiting for you to unleash it.
Relook at your acts of courage to build your confidence in yourself and your abilities.
Reflect on the thought that it’s the brave who often are the ones who keep going, doesn’t matter what the circumstances.
Can you think of your latest act of courage? Maybe you never realised it for what it was until now. Write it down. Celebrate it.
Normalise recognising real courage.
