Recently saw a post on Instagram where Ronaldo explains why his teenage son doesn’t have a smartphone.
He didn’t want his son to get distracted by technology. Once he gives him the phone, he’ll be easily influenced into making the wrong choices like eating unhealthy food or not focusing on the hard work needed to reach his potential.
It’s not just a celebrity concern but something shared by parents all over the globe. You can see what he’s talking about when you look around you.
Kids are spending anywhere from 6 to 9 hours daily on the screens; the 11-14-year-olds are the ones spending the maximum time – an alarming 9 hours daily!!
Parents are worried about the impact on their productivity and focus.
Ronaldo’s words are something each of us as parents can relate to. Difference is he took the hard decision and implemented it.
Think about it. Why is it happening?
The Rise of Distraction and Agitation Among Children
Having a smartphone has become an acceptable rite of passage, especially since the pandemic.
Post-pandemic, phones have replaced any and all forms of interactions and activities.
They have a zillion videos and games to choose from.
This increases their distraction and focus. They never seem to finish anything because something else got their attention.
You’ll find them fidgety or impulsive when they don’t have their precious phone or tablet with them.
When I asked my students if they played any word games on their phones, I got an overwhelming response. Happy with that response, I asked them to give me 3 or more synonyms for a particular word. Complete silence.
Their minds switched off; they were not used to thinking by themselves. It’s so easy to have all the answers with the phone in their hands.
This lack of focus and attention is numbing their innate intelligence. It’s impacting their ability to learn and retain.
The emotional repercussions
Another factor is the stress and anxiety kids go through, which is often ignored.
Kids have their own worries to deal with, both at home and school.
The need to fit in and be accepted by their peers, the need to stay relevant, and expectations from parents and teachers, all contribute to their stress.
They feel caught between the devil and the deep sea. And the respite from all this is to go back to the screens, which unquestioningly provides them instant gratification.
In a recent study, it was found that ADHD has notably increased over time, affecting 4-12% of school-aged children which continues into adolescence and adulthood in nearly 65 to 85% of children. That’s alarming.
Causes of Distracted and Agitated Behaviour
Insufficient physical activity leads to restlessness hyperactivity and high energy. A lethal combination waiting to explode.
Hectic schedules and their lifestyles are not helping either. Most would rather sit at home with their phone or watch some videos than go out and play.
They’ve the best of equipment available but they aren’t ready to put in the hard work.
The kids follow Ronaldo and other sportspersons, worship them, have all the information they need but have no inclination to implement them.
I’ve seen kids at the gym. Do one set and then back to the phone – updating status, checking messages. Severe case of FOMO.
So when Ronaldo pointed out that he wanted his son to understand the value of hard work, he knew what the consequences of giving him a phone would be.
There’s the technological overload to deal with. They have multiple gadgets and media sources to choose from. If not the phones, then the laptop screens or the TV. They spend more time looking at the screens than at the faces of real people.
You’ll find them impatiently switching between the multitude of apps, videos and games; impatient and restless. The case of too many choices.
Maybe setting time limits on apps or restricting notifications can help control the constant pull of technology. Worth a try.
And then the information bombardment, overwhelming and unstoppable. They get sucked into the information vortex, consuming without comprehension. Their minds do mental calisthenics trying to soak in the maximum. The constant juggling makes them confused and agitated, compromising their focus.
Believe it or not, this agitated mental state impacts their food habits also. Have you seen those food posts – those desserts and burgers and fries? They’re the perfect examples of processed and high-sugar foods that one must avoid. Instead, they become the go-to. Poor eating habits also lead to hyperactivity and distraction.
And finally, last but not least, focus on the lack of proper daily routine. You don’t have to have a military school schedule. However, some form of structure helps to reduce the anxiety in the children.
According to a study by Melbourne Child Psychology and School Psychology Services, building routines with the children provides them with clear boundaries, expectations and consistency.
The consistency provides them with stability, which in turn calms them down.
I often hear my students get excited about the weekend. It means staying up till late, eating out, sleeping in late; basically, a decadent time doing nothing productive or constructive.
You get the gist, right? The children face constant mental stimulation. Naturally, they feel restless agitated and disconcerted.
Creating a simple routine can bring some order into their lives and minds. Fixed study time, no screen time an hour before bed (maybe use this time for reading an actual book) or a weekly family time where everyone comes together for an activity can recreate and strengthen the missing interpersonal bonds.
Let’s Review
Before complaining about the children, do an audit of your lifestyle. Consider how much are you doing to engage with them in person. Or is the phone playing the role of the surrogate parent?
How do you get them to understand that some form of physical activity will help channel their energy positively?
Loving them doesn’t mean indulging them with material goods. It means creating an environment where they don’t need to look for company in the gadgets.
You can correct the children only if you show them what you expect from them by doing it yourself. If you can’t do it, expecting them to do it would be unfair.
Let’s start with you first. Become their role model.
