Ever tried to intervene in a fight between siblings or kids in a park?
I know from experience it’s the most futile effort.
Over the years, it has taught me about handling tears, navigating negotiations, managing people, anger management, and a few more sought after corporate skills.
Believe me, it works in classrooms as effectively as in the boardrooms.
Conflict management is a skill that shapes our leaders and sets them apart.
Understanding conflict resolution
There are bound to be differences in opinions, ideas, perspectives, when there are more than two people involved.
It will lead to a conflict or a disagreement.
But conflict need not conjure images of fist fights or screaming hordes or sparring with words.
Focus on what can be done to reduce the negativity it inspires.
1. Improve communication skills.
Build your communication skills. People are open to ideas when they understand what’s being told to them.
Learn to speak clearly and effectively; no lengthy prologues.
If needed, write down the points you want to cover, arrange them in a logical sequence and, maybe, try going over your lines.
If you’re convinced with the arguments, the others surely will be.
2. Work on empathy and understanding.
Try to see things from the other person’s point of view. Doing this will help you in two ways –
- you will know what the other person is thinking and the reasons for it, and
- it will help you prepare better for the discussions.
And more importantly, it will prevent the deterioration of personal relationships.
3. Improves problem solving abilities
You will be able to think calmly and reach a logical and amicable solution if you can resolve the conflict. Your creative thinking and ability to see from various perspectives will make you a natural conflict resolver, be it the office or anywhere else.
Benefits to the child
Building this type of mindset and attitude has to start from childhood.
It’s important for the children to understand that conflicts or differences can be easily resolved without getting angry or throwing a tantrum.
Their emotional awareness will develop their emotional intelligence, and have long lasting impact on their personality.
Their social relationships will improve, helping them make stronger friendships.
The harmony and self-control will build their confidence, make them self-assured about their own strengths.
Long term impact
If they begin learning from their childhood, it gives the child a longer time to practice how to resolve a conflict.
Their conflict resolving skills helps them to build bridges, thus nurturing their innate leadership skills.
When they step into the professional sphere, they will be better equipped compared to their peers.
As a prized skill, conflict resolution can help them not only with career advancement but also with personal development.
Expectations from parents
I’m not showing you a dream. It’s a reality that is achievable.
But like all dreams, it needs some concerted effort from you.
Parents have to ensure that they provide a supporting environment at home where the child can be given proper guidance.
Focus on the importance of patience, empathy, encouragement and positive reinforcement.
Children are quick learners. Model your behaviour such that they can learn by watching you.
In short,
Next time your children are fighting, ask them to resolve the differences in a civilised and amicable manner.
It sounds impossible, but there has to be a starting point sometime.
Let it be now.
