Do you know the difference between hearing and listening?
Well, hearing is when you acknowledge every sound that reaches your ears, be it the loud honking on the roads or the TV blasting or the chirping of the birds.
Listening is when you let the emotions and thoughts accompanying the words touch you. Sometimes they’re obvious, but most of the times they’re subtle and non-verbal.
When you listen, you connect with the speaker on a much deeper level. It goes beyond the mere words and helps you build a genuine connection.
The Depth of Listening
Listening is not about catching every word or pointing every error in the sentence; it’s about understanding the message hidden behind those words.
Listening is a form of silent communication when you’re able to understand and appreciate the non-verbal cues, like facial expression or the tone of the voice or the body language.
You must’ve surely experienced it.
Remember when a friend or colleague approached you to convey a happy news? They looked excited, their face exuded joy, eyes twinkled.
Or when you met someone after they had gone through some difficult times, you could see the pain in their eyes and the slumped body posture.
If you’re able to notice these cues during the conversation, you’ll be able to get a better value from the interaction and get to the core of the issue, knowing how to deal with it with empathy.
Impact of Listening on Relationships
What’s the simple secret to building a strong relationship? Listening.
When you listen, the other person feels like you’re taking them seriously, putting in the effort to understand them. That’s when they feel valued.
Whether at home or at work or any social setting, listening to others creates meaningful connections.
Friendships become stronger over time because you’re able to communicate with each other without judgement, you feel valued and understood when you talk with them.
On the contrary, not listening can, obviously, lead to misunderstandings and misinterpretations. If you haven’t understood what was being told, you’ll not be prepared with the appropriate response.
Aren’t these the exact circumstances that lead to infuriating and dead-end discussions, angry outbursts and disagreements?
Listening is about building connections with your attentive and thoughtful communication, verbal or non-verbal.
Practicing Listening
Rome wasn’t built in a day and nor will your listening skills. It needs practice and conscious effort from you.
Begin with a simple exercise where you repeat what the other person is saying.
This will help in two ways – one, it’ll help you to recollect what was told to you, and two, it will clarify your understanding of the issue, thus avoiding possible misunderstandings.
Even if you get it wrong, no problem. They know you’re paying attention and trying to understand.
By being an empathetic listener you’re showing that you’re interested in what they’ve to share, you feel the emotions hidden behind those words; that you’re ready to put yourself in their shoes to build a connection based on trust and respect.
It’s a powerful force when resolving conflicts or in diffusing differences.
Conclusion
Everyone loves to talk, speak their mind and wants to be heard. Somewhere in all that speaking, we tend to forget to listen.
If speaking is necessary to let others know about your thoughts and ideas, then listening is critical for understanding them. Otherwise, it will all be just noise, lost in the civilised cacophony of our lives.
To develop meaningful relationships, practice listening.
All it needs is you to be present and tuned in to the other person.
