The benches were low. They were meant for the 7 years old students, not their parents.
I was once again all set to meet the parents of my students.
I kept repeating to myself – stay calm, take a deep breath and count to 10 before reacting.
Some parents would get me all riled and I needed to be prepared to deal with them calmly and professionally.
What would frustrate me is when parents walk in and talk about how their child is not meeting expectations. Yes, you’ve heard me right!
They want an Einstein or Ramanujan or Edison, and here their child was busy chasing butterflies or playing with friends or watching Pokemon.
All those after-school activity classes were not helping in the transformation into a super kid.
What can I say to such parents that they don’t already know?
Children are living in a hyper stimulated world. Their distraction is fast becoming their default setting. Focus is non-existent.
First thing to work on is developing their focus, like it’s a life skill. It needs to be built consciously. It has to be modelled consistently and nurtured patiently.
Why Focus Matters More Than Ever
The first toy the child gets, even before they learn to hold anything, is the mobile phone.
They’re not focusing on the screen. Their numb minds weren’t engaging with the surroundings.
As they grow up, their environment includes constant notifications and instant gratifications.
Forget building that skill, they don’t even understand what it is anymore, thanks to the constant distractions.
They don’t need focus just for their studies. It’s about building their capacity to think deeply, works steadily and complete the task at hand.
How Focus Helps Children Thrive
Developing focus has cognitive and behavioural benefits that result in long term payoffs.
If they’re struggling with their studies, it’s because they’re not focusing on comprehension or improving their memory or working on problem solving.
Kids who lack focus are distracted and agitated and can’t seem to decide what they want.
Building focus will help children work on developing self-discipline, teach them perseverance and time management.
Building on the focus, children will discover:
- Improvement in their academic performance
- Better emotional managementIncrease in their self-confidenceBetter developed resilience and patience
- Ability to set and achieve relevant goals
Shift the Parental Mindset from Pressure to Patience
Begin with working on developing the child into a balanced individual. The goals will become easier to achieve.
Remember that focus is not a personal trait; it’s a learned behaviour.
Don’t expect schools to be helpful here. They’re overburdened and overwhelmed handling all the students that ‘focus’ is difficult to come by.
Outsourcing the responsibility to schools will only aggravate the situation.
As focus will not come ‘naturally’ to the children, start by modelling the behaviour you want to see.
Show them by doing it. They will learn better by watching you.
Develop a culture of patience, persistence and follow-through at home.
Focus doesn’t mean cutting-off-all-ties-with-the-world mindset.
Let the children see that being focused means being committed to the task, practising finishing it.
Let them warm up to the idea of being focused.
The Hidden Cost When Focus Isn’t Developed Early
Cultivating focus in the childhood has become essential because it has consequences in the adulthood.
It creates powerful ripple effects in the later part of life as the child grows up.
- It impacts productivity as their distracted minds cannot start or finish tasks without external pressure.
- Develop low tolerance levels as they’re unable to stick with something or quit as soon as it gets hard or boring.
- Have scattered attention, jumping from one task to another, without meaningful progress.
- Practice poor time management as they’re unable to prioritise or meet deadlines or work on long term goals.
- Work habits lack depth as they struggle with thinking deeply, or creativity, or problem solving. Their brain is trained for quick distractions.
Not just their professional life, the lack of focus spills over to their personal life also.
They begin feeling anxious or overwhelmed watching others moving forward or working intentionally.
They develop low self-worth and have a higher dependency on others.
They seek constant motivation or external validation to keep working.
The mental clutter, pile of unfinished tasks, unclear goals or objectives leads to constant stress.
Without focus, even the brightest minds look like a compass spinning without direction.
That’s not the adult life you envisioned for your child, did you?
What habits are you modelling at home that show focused effort?
Why Focus is a Non-Negotiable Life Skill
Focus is not a fancy word to be used during productivity workshops. And it’s also not about academic performance or work success.
Focus is what shapes your life. It manages your emotions, helps you build stronger relationships, and pursue a meaningful life.
Focus has to start early so that your child –
- grows into an adult who doesn’t need you, or anyone else, to keep them on track
- learns to be present and think clearly
- knows how to follow through the tasks at hand and finish them
- is better equipped to deal with unexpected bouncers or uncertainties that life keeps throwing from time to time.
Focus becomes a survival skill in the world they’ll step into.
Actionable Tips for Parents
Focus is like a muscle – the more you train it, the stronger it becomes. Some suggestions you can try to build focus in your child.
- Establish a distraction free homework area at home
- Start with short focus tasks and build up
- Model ‘deep work’ by focusing on one task yourself
- Encourage creative hobbies or activities that need focus like puzzles
- Limit screen time before bed to reset their attention span
Focus Isn’t Optional Anymore
Focus has become indispensable to survive in the constant cacophony of the modern world.
Those who don’t take it seriously are heading for greater challenges.
If you’re in denial about its importance then I suggest you to conduct a quick time audit and see how you’ve spent your time. Or how many tasks were you able to complete on time.
Focus is like the solid foundation for a confident you. Everything else, be at your creativity, achievement, discipline, is built on it.
Will your child grow up needing constant reminders or will they learn to lead themselves?
Best if children are taught about it during their growing up years to ensure a stress free adulthood.
