Teens! (Long sigh!)
Every generation has complained about their teenagers. I remember all the comments that were bestowed on me and my peers by the adults in the family.
So I guess I’m just carrying forward the tradition of complaining about my teenagers now.
But I’ve to admit, their lives are way more complicated than ours ever was.
It may have become convenient with all the facilities and resources and gadgets, but it has only elevated their stress.
The vast majority resemble zombies, with their heads lowered into their phones, walking listlessly from one class to another, and ears stuffed with earphones.
Is this how they’re going to grow up, with no connection to the real world except through their phones?
Maybe it’s their way of escaping the gruelling schedule that they’ve to endure each day.
It’s time to address the challenges they face with the packed schedules and undeserving pressures to perform.
Phones, pressure and parental expectations. Teens are drowning in demands.
They’ve to be taught to balance their homework, extracurricular activities, and social life (if they have one) while ensuring to get enough rest and sleep.
The Problem: Why Teens Are Overcommitted
The first thing to do is focus on the source of this unhealthy lifestyle that the teens have.
The soul crushing pressures to excel everywhere is taking a toll.
Whether it’s getting high grades, or doing well in all extracurricular activities, or being the ‘coolest’ kid in their social group, they’re constantly required to be the best.
This pressure works from two sides. On one hand is the social media which is highly demanding and constantly needs them to be involved. The FOMO keeps them hooked to their phones, scared they may otherwise be left out.
When doomscrolling, they’re constantly measuring themselves against filtered perfection. This leads to anxiety and self-doubts, even in the most confident minds.
And then on the other hand, the parents and the teachers who demand they live up to their (the parents and the teachers) expectations, irrespective of what the teenager wants or is capable of.
These unrealistic expectations play tug-of-war with the focus and concentration of the youngsters, increasing their anxiety and affecting their sleep.
They’ve to choose which group to focus on. At this impressionable age it matters what you or the others think of them.
Hence they are ready to compromise on the sleep for a few more minutes of phone time or studies.
Consequences of Sleep Deprivation
Sleep becomes the first casualty in their demanding schedule.
The school work piles up. Assignments feel endless. Social media pulls towards it. Result? Chronic sleep deprivation.
This makes them irritable, moody, and anxious. Add to that it leads to their cognitive decline, reducing their concentration and impacting their memory. These are bound to affect their academic performance.
In addition to the emotional effects, it also impacts their physical health by reducing their immunity, making them feel tired at all times, and in extreme cases can even lead to burnout.
A tired, overcommitted teen isn’t just struggling with academics, but also risks mental fatigue, irritability and depressive thoughts.
This is certainly not what you had envisioned for your child, or did you?
Setting Priorities by Learning to Say No
To be able to maintain a balanced schedule, it’s important to know how and what to prioritise.
And that’s a applicable both to the parents and their children.
Being able to differentiate between what’s essential and what’s not, what can be left off and what needs to be focused on, is crucial.
Learn to say no to what doesn’t fit into their scheme of things. And do it without feeling guilt or the fear of missing out.
They don’t need to join yet another club or competition just to ‘look good’ on college applications.
By understanding their personal goals and interests, and aligning the activities with them, you’ll be able to remove the extras. This will reduce the pressure of doing everything.
Healthy Habits and Time Management for Overcommitted Teens
The next thing to focus on is time. Teach them time management like it’s a survival skill. Because it is.
For them to lead a balanced life, they’ve to learn to manage their time efficiently.
Time blocks work best for students. Allocate time blocks for school, extracurricular activities and rest.
Encourage some form of physical activity. An hour in the gym, or playing a sport, or cycling, swimming. Anything that can recharge and divert their exhausted minds.
Ensure they get some rest and quiet time without the gadgets or phones. Let their body recover from the intense grind it’s been put through the day.
One of the first sacrifices teens make is their sleep.
Try to implement a sleep routine. May not be easy but quite doable if you put in some effort.
- Consistent bedtime and wake up time
- No screen time before bed (the blue light effects the circadian cycle)
- Relaxing the mind before sleeping by reading or listening to soothing music
Sit down with your teen today and map out their weekly schedule together. Find at least one activity to cut back on and create a bedtime routine that ensures better sleep.
Focus on nutrition also. No quick-fix unhealthy food. They’ll add to the growing number of health problems.
Right now, they’re running on empty caffeine fuelled diet and dealing with the pressure to perform.
A balanced meal provides the body with fresh energy and also helps in improving sleep quality.
Key to Long-Term Success
Their long term success depends on finding a balance in their chaos.
They are simply following the guidelines given by parents and teachers.
So it’s important for you adults to assume responsibility to creating a balance in this high-stress environment.
Have open conversations about the workload with all concerned, that is the parents, teachers and students.
Workout a schedule that allows them to rest and recharge.
Recognise and acknowledge the stress, and include steps to deal with mental well-being.
Check-in weekly with your teen about their workload. Ask them what’s overwhelming and help them adjust their commitments.
If these steps were taken into account, all those deaths at Kota could’ve been avoided.
Conclusion
Teenage years are the ones when the child is discovering the world around them.
By locking them away with the books and creating a gruelling schedule, depriving them of other activities, is not the right way to bring up well-adjusted child.
Your dream as a parent is to make your child a well balanced and skilled individual who can take on the world.
For that you’ve to rework their schedule. Prioritise quality over quantity, learn to say no for non-essential activities, ensure they get some decent sleep and rest.
They don’t have to do everything to be successful.
Start today: review their weekly commitments, cut one unnecessary activity, establish a 10 pm phone-free bedtime.
At least be open to trying it before brushing it aside. The results may surprise you.
