“It’s not that I’m so smart. It’s just that I stay with problems longer.” – Albert Einstein
I found this little poster with this quote when I was rummaging through one of my old folders. It was something I had made for my classroom.
I recollected how we had a long conversation about the meaning of the quote in the class.
Yes, the 7 year olds can really ask you some hard questions and answering them can challenge the best of you.
I had spoken to them about facing challenges with confidence, that learning was a lifelong journey.
Basically, what I was attempting was to nurture their growth mindset.
Because it’s their attitude that strengthens belief in their abilities. That’s what drives persistence, perseverance and consistent effort.
What you have to do as a parent or educator is focus on these 5 simple practices, which are overlooked and underrated, to guide them towards a growth oriented mindset:
1. Praise the Process, Not the Person
Children thrive on compliments and encouragement. Use them generously, but be careful what you say.
Psychologist Carol Dweck’s studies show that children praised for effort outperform those praised for intelligence, especially when faced with difficult tasks.
Avoid focusing on individual attributes like talent or intelligence. Instead highlight their effort or persistence.
Common mistakes like saying “You’re so smart”, try “I love how you think of different strategies or ways of solving”.
Or replace “You’re so kind” with “That’s really considerate how you thought about that”.
This simple switch shifts the thinking from themself to their actions.
Children can see that you appreciate their actions and efforts. It becomes all about their effort, persistence and creative thinking and not about them being naturally gifted.
With time they’ll begin to value the process of learning, and not obsess about the result.
2. Normalise Mistakes as a Part of Learning
Nobody’s perfect. Perfection is the result of consistent practice. So let them practice.
The instinctive reaction is to snap or lose patience when children make a mistake. Take a deep breath and remember, they’re children, they’re still learning.
How you react to their mistakes sets the foundation of their mindset.
If you encourage them to keep trying (whether it’s learning to pour into a glass or break an egg or solve a maths problem) and you’re okay with them making mistakes, they’ll feel encouraged to keep going on.
Remember the first time your child tried to tie their shoelaces and it got all tangled up? Well, wait for a few more practices and then watch their face light up when they get it right.
Tell them about your mistakes too. It makes you not-so-perfect. Bring out what you’ve learnt from that experience.
It sends a strong message that growth will happen only when you dare to try, fail and learn.
3. Use “Yet” in Daily Conversations
It’s a small word yet has the power to shift the entire mindset.
Instead of saying “I can’t do it”, teach them to say “I can’t do it yet”.
It’s like a pause in the process. It shows they’re still trying.
This allows them to pace their efforts instead of stopping it all together.
It’s like a breather where they review their work, make corrections and start all over.
This is the space where you need to show patience and belief in them.
Use yet regularly. It builds resilience and optimism.
4. Encourage Curiosity and Asking Questions
You’re a parent or educator, not an encyclopaedia or Google.
Don’t go rushing with the answer when they ask something. Let it become an interaction where you encourage the child to ask more questions. Give them a chance to explore, guess, wonder.
This allows them the chance to satiate their curiosity. If they feel you’re open to their asking questions, they become more confident about exploring, experimenting or discovering new things.
For once your prompt answers might not help. On the contrary, it ends all future opportunities for conversation and restricts their thinking.
5. Reflect on Progress, Not Just Results
Pause. Breathe. And embrace the process. If you want your child to develop a growth mindset, you’ve to be prepared to go one step at a time.
Celebrate their every step. Acknowledge every improvement. Compliment their progress and effort.
“There’s a marked improvement in your reading. That’s good!”
“You were able to solve the complete exercise all by yourself. Good job!”
This allows them to see how far they’ve come without the fear of judgement or assessment. And that’s motivating. They’re more likely to keep going, wanting to get better.
Final Thought: Growth is Built One Habit at a Time
These 5 habits may appear obvious, but believe me they are potent; they can make or break the child mindset.
Developing a growth mindset is a slow and gradual process. Not something that will happen over a summer workshop or attending classes.
It needs daily practice; through conversations, encouragement and resilience.
It’s not about getting it right. It’s about trying. Trying again. And then trying some more.
A little tweak here and there, and you can assist your child to discover what they are truly capable of.
After all, true growth doesn’t come from always being right; it comes from always being willing to ty again.
