Remember the first time you let your child ride the bicycle without the training wheels? It was both terrifying and empowering.
How do you teach dealing with something like this to your child?
Trust is something delicate yet unbreakable, fragile yet resilient.
A small doubt and it can be fractured, causing irreparable damages. Yet it’s what gives you the strength to move ahead.
It forms the core of any relationship, be it family or friends or anyone else, including the pets!
How to build this trust?
What do you say to children when you’ve to teach them about trust?
Understanding Trust
Trust is when you put your faith in someone or something. You’re sure of their support and are confident that they’ll be there for you.
Your toddler running to you after getting a scraped knee is trust.
It’s pure, raw and honest. It makes them feel secure and safe.
Trust is a two-way street, sustained by a balance of give and take equation. I mean, you can’t expect someone to place their trust in you while you’re not equally reciprocating the feeling. This would be catastrophic for any relationship.
We’ve learned from our experiences over the years how to trust, whom to trust and how much to trust.
But kids need to be taught this. They’re instinctively trusting. You’ve to teach them this skill delicately without shattering their innocent belief in humanity.
It’s good to be able to trust someone. But tell them that trusting someone blindly can be dangerous.
They can be manipulated or disappointed. So maintaining the balance is vital.
Show them how to evaluate the trust factor of their friends, read the (warning) signs and trust their instincts.
Like I said before, it’s a give and take relation.
Where To Start
Start off with small steps.
- Build the relationship around trust. Show them through your actions that you can be relied on, that you’re their immutable backup.
- Explain the meaning of trust and being trustworthy. Children easily comprehend the difference between truth and lie. Associate trust with truth – telling the truth, being honest, etc.
- Praise them when they exhibit trustworthiness. This makes it easier for them to connect the concept to the associated action.
For example, you ask them to watch over their younger sibling and they do it well, acknowledge it. Let them know you’re impressed and ready to trust them with bigger responsibilities after this.
4. Make them aware of the consequences of breaking trust. This is important as it shows them the gravity of the matter. It’s not simply about breaking your word or not being reliable. They will appreciate better the need and value of trust.
5. Help them to make friendships based on mutual trust. Children are susceptible to getting influenced by other children for various reasons. Talk to them (without being harsh or critical) about selecting the right kind of friends.
Trusting Your Instincts.
Instincts, or the inner voice, are like the sensors which sound the alarm anytime something feels off. And ignoring it is not advisable.
Instincts keep developing as the baby keeps growing.
At the very beginning, babies don’t have any instincts at play. It’s as they grow, say by 12-18 months, that their instinct slowly start developing.
As they become older, use this time to talk to them, creating awareness about what’s right and what’s not.
Teach them to trust their gut. If something feels wrong, then it most likely is. They can use this to guide them and keep them safe.
Educate them about good touch and bad touch. And more importantly, about keeping themselves safe from people around them, whether family members , friends or strangers.
Build their intuitive powers by discussing different scenarios and what would be their reaction to them. This’ll empower them with prior knowledge and ease their anxiety.
It needs working on as it’ll be their strongest ally in case of a difficult situation. Better prepared than sorry.
What They Learn About Themselves.
As they grow and understand the value of trust and being trustworthy, they also learn about themselves.
They become more self-aware which improves their sense of self-worth.
They’re in a better position to form positive and stronger relationships.
They learn to respect themselves and those around them who share similar values.
It leads to a healthy and conscious personal growth.
Children learn about –
- being reliable
- keeping their promise
- doing the right thing
- being honest
- taking themselves seriously
- trusting their instincts
Final Take
Children are born with a pure soul, trusting and loving everyone. Wish they could remain that way.
But the realities of the world they inhabit doesn’t allow them. So best to teach them the skills needed to survive safely.
Teaching your child about trust and being trustworthy is essential to protect them from getting hurt later and also providing them with a reliable ally.
Go one step at a time, develop their strength and believe in the process. Teach them to trust their inner voice.
Trust me, it’s doable.
