You don’t have to wait for Christmas to meet Santa.
Just call your grandparents.
Grandparents enrich the lives of their grandchildren through love, wisdom and gifts!
Doesn’t matter what you do, you can never match up to them.
They ensure that your children enjoy their childhood with selfless love, abundance of indulgence, unwavering attention, and connecting with traditions.
The irreplaceable connection between the grandparents and grandchildren, the shared wisdom and their nurturing presence is what strengthens the emotional development of the child. It shapes the personality of the child in ways the modern influences can never.
Creating Cherished Memories
I know this for sure because my grandfather has been someone who has had the maximum influence on me.
Summer vacations were always spent at our grandparents house in a small town. Life followed a slower space and somehow there was always time to do lots of things.
My earliest memories of us together are him taking me for a walk and buying me freshly roasted peanuts from a street vendor. I don’t know if it was a daily thing or not but it must have been quite frequent to be etched in my mind so clearly.
Another set of cherished memories relates to the picnics we would go on. It was to a beach in the neighbouring town. The drive itself was an adventure. We would stop along the road to buy freshly picked mangoes, jackfruit or water-cress or even a basket of crabs!
I close my eyes and I can taste my grandmother’s cooking.
These small seemingly everyday moments lay the foundation for any child’s emotional world; a world where love, care and belonging are solidified. Grandparents leave us with a bucket load of memories that we cherish long after they’ve gone.
Inculcating Values and Skills
Meticulous and a stickler for time, he instilled the values like being organised, consistency, taking responsibility, being respectful in us.
He loved gardening. After our classes (we had a study session every morning and no excuses worked), we would walk around his garden and pluck the choicest fruits. This was the first hand learning at being consistent and patient if you want results.
When my brother started his first job, my grandfather gave him one of his old neckties, telling him about the importance of being well groomed.
These life skills, like punctuality, organisation, respect, every child will learn as they grow up. They’ll prove helpful in both their personal and professional lives. But research shows that children who learn these skills early are better equipped to handle challenges.
Who better to learn from than the grandparents who’ve seen life closely for so long?
Influence on the Child’s Personality
A keen reader himself, he introduced the love of reading in us. He would keep a list of books ready to read that summer vacation. I would borrow those books from the libraries (it was the age of no Kindle or anything online) and carry them with us.
From classics to fiction, non-fiction, poetry to Indian mythology, politics, history, we covered a range of genres. I introduced him to Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys; and he to Sherlock Holmes, Poirot and Jeeves.
When in university, he wanted to know the books and topics we studied so he can add to the booklist.
He got us into the habit of reading the newspapers and would often quiz us on current affairs.
Only grandparents have the patience to invest the time to teach such skills to the young children.
Building Family Cohesion and Bonds
What we enjoyed most was sitting with him in the evening and listening to stories about his childhood or his experiences when in England or the Indian independence movement. Their lives were so full and exciting.
A well-read man, he would tell us stories from the rich Indian mythologies, keeping us connected with our cultural traditions and identities. I’ve his personal copies of books which were published more than half a century ago. Priceless, isn’t it?
The only way to remain connected with our roots, to know about our family and celebrate a sense of belonging is through the stories he narrated.
Grandparents become the link between the past and the future generations. It’s a big responsibility as they pass down the family narratives and customs so you and me can maintain a sense of continuity.
Teaching Through Experience
His biggest gift to me is writing. It started with me writing letters to him every week and then anxiously wait for his reply. Yes, it’s a beautiful experience, sadly missing when you send emails or messages.
When I joined college he encouraged me to continue writing for newspapers and magazines. But our letter writing continued. I would write long detailed letters about what’s happening in my life and he’d send newspaper clipping or some articles he found interesting.
Even in those letters we would discuss current affairs, family updates, along with my struggles with growing up, learning to cope with life as working woman.
Emotional Support and Unconditional Love
His letters were my source of strength and inspiration. His words of wisdom and life lessons, taken from his own life experiences, were gems. He was far away but his words guided me, helped me make decisions, learn from my mistakes, pushing and testing my limits.
He encouraged my quest to learn languages. I don’t know if he saw a potential or was just doing grandfather-duty but I knew I had his unwavering support. Only a grandparent can provide this kind of emotional support and unconditional love.
Are we doing enough to build the bonds between the grandparents and their grandchildren?
I know life gets busy. It’s become a structured and regimented schedule that making time for each other also needs to be scheduled.
In such circumstances, it becomes pertinent that we, the parents, put in efforts to make time for them. Try to schedule regular visits or calls. Give some unstructured, relaxed time for some informal bonding rather than formal interactions.
Build up channels of communications. Not just messages or chats, get your children to write letters. It’s more personal, shows that they’ve invested time and effort for their grandparents.
You’ll have to figure out what works for you and your child. But they need each other.
In short
Grandparents have their own way of touching our lives, shaping the personalities and influencing us in many ways. They create an irreplaceable connection and leave a legacy behind.
They offer a lifetime of lessons, values and memories that no other relation can replicate. Children growing up with grandparents learn to be more empathetic, emotionally resilient and adaptive.
He’s no longer with us but will always be a part of our lives. And a happy coincidence is he shares his birthday with my first born! What a blessing!
All I wish is for my children to always have this kind of connection with their grandparents. It’s only then can they become part of our lives forever.
