“There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.” – Aristotle
That’s the funny thing about criticism. The more visible you become, the more you’ll attract it. The louder your work echoes, the more people will have opinions about it. While some will admire, others will dismiss.
Criticism is proportional to impact.
But what do you do with it? Do you let criticism fuel your passion to move forward, or do you let it quietly chip away at your confidence?
Because the way you handle criticism is just as important as the work you’re doing.
The Nature of Criticism
Criticism is one way of confirming that your work is going in the right direction. It’s making those around you uncomfortable.
As you step out of the shadows and create something meaningful, you attract attention. Be it an idea or a project or piece of art, your work will invite judgement, often unsolicited.
You’ve dared to cross the line to do something unconventional, or maybe nonconforming. You’ll be seen as visionaries by some, and frauds by others.
Even Steve Jobs and J.K. Rowling were not spared the criticism. Don’t get me wrong. People love them. They’ve a huge following of millions but that still doesn’t shield them from the harshest of criticisms.
So maybe the harsher the criticism, the more revolutionary is your work? Or, what if it’s pointing out to a genuine lack of preparation, or a blind spot you’ve overlooked?
For someone who looks at the glass as half full, I’ll say the sting of feedback is simply a signpost telling you where to sharpen your edge.
Constructive vs. Toxic Criticism
Of course not all criticism is the same.
Constructive criticism is positive, focused, and specific. It’s actionable and is intended to help you grow.
“Your presentation was clear but you can get more attention if you start with a story.” Clear and encouraging.
Toxic or negative criticism is just that – negative. It’s unproductive, vague and often personal, meant to tear you down.
“You’re not meant for this,” or “Anyone else could’ve done a better job than what you’ve done.” One line and your confidence just vaporises.
Yes, sometimes a harsh criticism can carry some perspective as yet undiscovered or considered. The delivery camouflages the message.
If you want to benefit from the criticisms, then learn to separate the useful feedback from the noise.
The Danger of Receiving Criticism the Wrong Way
Often the damage is done not by the criticism itself but by its misinterpretation.
How you look at the criticism will decide how you benefit (or not) from it. If you take every negative comment personally, you’ll begin to doubt your ability, will question every move.
Your progress gets stalled as you slow down, or play smaller simply to avoid judgment.
Criticism is needed to provide you a different perspective, line of thinking. Ignoring it is not a solution.
On the other hand, by dismissing all criticism, you end up becoming arrogant. You stop learning, refuse to see the blind spots and stop listening to reason.
That’s not conducive for progress or growth.
What’s needed is balance. Learn to filter the criticism. Absorb the good bits which help you improve, and ignore the personal barbs or unproductive rantings.
Giving Criticism: Doing It Without Destroying
The same rules apply when you’re dishing out criticism to others. How you do it can change everything.
Things to remember –
- Focus on the action, not the person. “This idea needs more research” sounds a lot better than “You never think things through.”
- Suggest alternatives instead of just pointing out flaws. “What if you tried it this way?” seems more positive as it opens possibilities.
- Let your feedback be as a partner, not a superior. It changes the way the other person receives it then.
Let your criticism help someone grow, not shut down their spirit.
Three Questions to Ask Yourself When Facing Criticism
- What impact do I want to have?
Before doing anything, make sure your ego is in place because if you’re going to check someone, you should be ready to receive some yourself. It’s a package deal. You give some, you get some.
- Am I letting fear of criticism stop me?
Be honest to yourself. Often fear of criticism is the reason for procrastinating, even when you’re ready. Prepare yourself with the kinds of critiques you’re expecting before you step on to the stage.
- Why do I care so much?
The years of social conditioning makes you take into consideration the opinions of everyone close to you. Is it essential? Is it your need for approval outweighing your desire for progress? Or will the criticism genuinely point you towards growth?
Small Shifts, Big Breakthroughs
Criticism can shake the very core of your confidence if you’re not prepared to deal with it.
It needs you to build a positive mindset and belief in yourself. Only if you’re able to see through the fog will you be able to make consistent progress, without getting overwhelmed or distracted.
Small changes can transform the way you handle criticism.
Every time you face criticism, ask yourself –
- “What part of this is useful?”
- “What have I learnt from this?”
- “I’m still learning. This can help me.”
It sounds silly but these tiny mindset changes can alter the outcome. These will rewire your responses as they build your resilience.
And resilience leads to brilliance, a flood of ideas. That’s what separates those who make an impact from those who fade away.
The Freedom in Redefining Criticism
What you’ve to realise is that criticism is not proof that you’ve failed. It’s a testimony of your effort, that you dared, that you’ve mattered.
Nobody criticises irrelevance. Nobody mocks the invisible.
The next time criticism comes your way, take it with a pinch of salt. Ask yourself, “How do I want to use it?”
Imagine the criticism as a shadow. Will you let that shadow scare you back into silence or will you step into the light, making it disappear?
The choice is yours. Remember, criticism is not bad; it’s a compass.
