When you’ve been a teacher long enough, you will meet all sorts of parents. And you’ll be surprised at the range!
Believe me, you will feel like an acrobat balancing on the tight rope when handling the parents without hurting their feelings or fragile egos.
Sometimes I’ve had to tell them to ease up or back off, and sometimes to get more involved or show some interest in their child. Either way, it was a tough act.
Helicopter parenting – is it a thing?
Remember the online classes? Some of the parents should have been given the certificates for passing the class along with their children. You could constantly see them on the screen, they would jump in to ‘assist’ their children with the various activities, the submissions were flawless.
Once back to the regular classes, those children found it very difficult to manage on their own. They were no longer the confident speakers or active participants. They needed a lot of hand-holding to get them to feel better about themselves, gain the confidence in their abilities.
Was this over-involvement beneficial to the child? Was stunting their confidence at that tender age helpful for their development?
I don’t know; I still don’t get it.
I know parenting is one difficult job. You want the best for your child. But isn’t the best often from your perspective, not the child’s.
Are you inhibiting your child’s growth?
What every parent must remember is that the child is not them, but an extension of them; an individual in its own ways. The process gets easier if you accept this truth at the earliest.
I’ve seen helicopter parents (a new-fangled term for the over, over involved parents who operate the child with a remote control) going ballistic if the child shows any signs of being an individual, having his own likes and preferences. Scary, right?
Do you realise how much harm it can do to your child if you hold the leash so tight?
- Stifling their independence such they cannot operate without instructions from you.
- Leads to over anxiety in children as they’re forever anxious about your reactions.
- They do not develop independent thinking and problem solving skills. After all, you’re going to tell them exactly what to do next.
- Have low self-esteem. Their lack of identity and independence makes them doubtful (or oblivious) about their abilities.
- Have low motivation as their drive is controlled by you. This makes them indifferent to their own motivations and aspirations.
- Skill development – no chance of developing social skills when you’re constantly directing all their actions and interactions.
For a child to bloom into their own self, it’s their immutable right to explore the world around them, make a few mistakes, fall, rise, dust off, meet others and learn to be independent. We’ve to be their life lines, their safety nets, guiding them, nudging them in the right direction.
Many parents unconsciously push their children to pursue interests they couldn’t as children. Not fair, I say. You can’t live your life or missed opportunities through your child. It’s their time now, let them live their lives.
Parenting is a balancing act
For the children to get a chance to live life productively, growing into confident young person, it’s pertinent for you to reflect on their parenting style. Introduce the required adjustments to enable your child the space and freedom to grow.
It’s all about finding the right balance between becoming a helicopter parent or a complete hands-off parent.
5 things you can do to get the correct measure of control and freedom.
- Set clear boundaries while allowing enough freedom within them.
- Build independence by giving them more age-appropriate responsibilities.
- Be their support system by guiding them to make their own decisions.
- Encourage open communications to you can discuss regularly their challenges and successes.
- Maintain consistency in your behaviour. Don’t keep changing the boundaries as per your convenience.
There’s nothing like overparenting. Show some faith in your child.
Get ready for school! Practice and perfect your maths.
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