“Hobbes ripped up my assignment.” Remember this and other familiar lines from Calvin and Hobbes?
They are hilarious every time you read them. But can such excuses be funny in real life?
Does giving excuses, doesn’t matter how creative, make something you haven’t done less significant?
Every time you’ve failed to do something, or leave a task unfinished, or something else, you have an excuse ready explaining it.
It’s time now to question the reason behind that explanation. The reason you don’t want to admit to.
What Are We Really Protecting Ourselves From?
The other day, after a long time, I met one of my colleagues from school.
When we were exchanging what we were doing, the other one went into a full-scale lament about the pathetic state of her professional life.
What happened about your plans to do this and that I asked. Zilch. Can’t just drop everything and start afresh at this stage was her reply. Followed by a long list of reasons (or excuses).
That’s often the response you get from most.
There are several fears that can lead you to make excuses.
First is the fear of failure. You don’t want to try because you don’t want to face the possibility of not being good enough or prepared enough
Next is the fear of judgement. Of social reaction. Reactions from family and friends. You don’t want to put yourself out there and then face criticism for your work, your abilities, your ideas.
And finally the fear of rejection. What if the first attempt faces rejection, then what? So you don’t ask, apply, propose, or initiate to avoid hearing the ‘no’.
Another fear is of success and change. What if things work out and you succeed? You are not sure how to deal with the new responsibilities, expectations, and uncertainties.
Moving forward means going into new territories. Staying where you are feels safer than becoming someone unfamiliar.
Maybe the fears are genuine, maybe they are unfounded. You’ll never know unless you stop giving excuses and take the necessary steps.
The Comfort of Staying the Same
Excuses may provide you with temporary relief. Help you avoid the discomfort you feel today.
But the goals remain unfulfilled. And no amount of excuses will help you feel better tomorrow.
Your excuses are protecting you from challenging yourself, discovering what you are capable of.
The mindset can make excuses look appealing and honest. Like you avoid speaking in public because you believe you’re not a good speaker.
Or you don’t want to begin something new, saying you’re too old to learn this or start again.
Growth requires you to make mistakes, own them as part of the process, and accept the outcome.
If I had given in to my fears, I wouldn’t have joined the Japanese language classes where I’m the oldest pupil! Even I’m embarrassed by my struggles sometimes.
Instead of making excuses for my ineptitudes, I’m enjoying the pace at which I’m learning and accepting it. The final outcome of it will be that someday I’ll be able to speak in Japanese! Woohoo!!
What Is Your Excuse Costing You?
Begin with being honest with yourself. Are you delaying beginning something because there’s a genuine reason, or is it because you want to avoid the discomfort?
Life happens and there are real constraints, exhaustion, competing responsibilities, and each of them deserve your attention.
The excuses may protect you from the uncomfortable moment temporarily but think about the long-term consequences.
Your excuses are keeping you from gaining experience, discovering your abilities, and changing your circumstances.
Sometimes you need to recognise what fear is making you avoid, and take one step to eliminate that fear and move.
If you knew you wouldn’t be judged, rejected, or defined by failure, would you stop making excuses and finally begin?
Give it a thought. A serious thought.
