Class monitor. Team captain. House leader. Student council representative. The child has to be a natural leader.
Isn’t that the first thought that comes to your mind? That’s because you tend to associate leadership with titles.
And that may not always be true. Sometimes it’s thrust upon them. Like if every child has to become the class monitor once during the academic year, then it’s not voluntary but unavoidable.
What the adults often forget, or ignore, is children don’t need a badge to start developing leadership skills.
In fact, if you notice them carefully, you’ll see that some of the best leadership lessons happen when nobody is officially in charge.
When they meet up in the park, they naturally come together and organise themselves. Someone makes sure everyone gets a turn. Someone comes up with ideas and makes the teams.
Maybe the loud one appears to be in charge. Look closely and you’ll notice the child who isn’t leading from the front is doing something equally important. Listening, coordinating, negotiating, supporting the team.
Both are forms of leadership.
Leadership Isn’t Always About Being in Charge
When I had asked my 7-year olds in class what they think is a leader, their answers were anything but boring.
Boss. Commander. I get to tell others what to do. I get to stand in front of the line. I become important.
Cute, but this isn’t what a leader is. Good leaders don’t simply tell people what to do.
They’re the ones who listen and try to understand what the group actually needs. They help everyone to move towards a common goal.
I find group activities the perfect practice ground. They get a chance to interact, negotiate, navigate different personalities, handle disagreements, manage different abilities and ideas.
Every school project is a revelation. It was easy to see who takes initiative, who delegates, who solves problems, and who keeps the group focused.
Even the playground is an excellent opportunity to see the budding leaders. The child may discover that winning isn’t about the individual goals but making the entire team perform better.
I’ve seen it happen in the sports ground, in the neighbourhood park, during group activities. No shouting or bossing.
The true leaders get the others to follow their lead by listening to what’s been said, by understanding what’s missing, and doing what needs to be done.
They don’t ask for it, but the mantle comes to them because of who they are.
6 Leadership Habits Children Can Practise
You want your child to have leadership skills? Practice these six leadership habits from early on so it becomes a part of who they are.
1. Listen before leading.
Teach them to listen to others’ ideas, and try to understand them. Afterall, leadership is not just about giving instructions, but also understanding.
2. Volunteer for responsibility.
Let them take ownership of small tasks. Encourage them to organise play dates, coordinate a group activity, or help a friend or teammate.
3. Learn to delegate.
They can’t be a leader by themselves. Encourage children to share tasks with others, and maybe divide them according to everyone’s strengths.
4. Include the quieter person.
Teach them to notice the quieter ones, or those who aren’t participating, and bring them into the conversation. It teaches them about accepting differences.
5. Handle disagreement respectfully.
Children find it difficult to agree all the time. Show them the difference between disagreement and conflict. Let them learn to argue about ideas without making it personal.
6. Take responsibility when things go wrong.
Instead of immediately blaming someone, let them share the responsibility. Ask them what they can do differently next time?
Give Them Opportunities, Not Labels
As adults, you need to step back and give them the freedom to develop their own style. They need to discover themselves how they function in a group.
Not all children are comfortable to be up there, in front of the room. Each one has their own unique strengths. Some can lead, some provide support, and others observe and step in when needed.
But the important thing is for each one to be given an opportunity to try different roles and explore the possibilities. Then let them figure out how they can fit in.
What needs to be first understood is that leadership isn’t something one can suddenly acquire when you receive a title.
It’s something that’s built quietly through hundreds of small moments here and there.
Next time you’re in the park, notice who listens, who settles an argument, who participates, or who keeps things moving.
You may be watching a future leader without a badge.
